As an aunt, one of my favorite duties is decorating birthday cakes for my nephews and niece... There have been several: Disney characters, Scooby Doo, Pokemon... and now BARBIE!
Miss Catelyn Elizabeth Pohl turned 3 on December 29, 2003. We celebrated at Grandma and Grandpa's house in Muscatine, Iowa.
Caty and her twin brothers Matthew and William (age 5) were my assistants in the latest birthday cake adventure...
I sent the following message to a couple of friends... in an attempt to lighten the dour mood the holidays can bring... I wound up sending daily doses of my twisted sense of humor to the masses... Enjoy!
(NOTE: I have compiled a very special list of resolutions for the coming year... because the next one has got to be better than the last! Of course I will need your assistance in making that happen... oh yeah... as you're reading these... please say "WITH GORDON" at the end... kinda like when you're reading fortune cookies and you add "in bed" to the end of them... same principle... I will be sending you one each day in December... :)
New Year's Resolution No. 1:
Teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Then give it the Guns N' Roses songbook.
New Year's Resolution No. 2:
Don't bite the heavyweight champion of the world.
New Year's Resolution No. 3:
End the world as we know it, being careful to feel fine.
New Year's Resolution No. 4:
Trip the light fantastic, right on its a**.
New Year's Resolution No. 5:
Only check messages when there are exactly 20 waiting.
If there are more than 20, wait until there are exactly 70.
New Year's Resolution No. 6:
Take time to contemplate what makes "Wonder Bread" so wonderful.
New Year's Resolution No. 7:
Walk like an Egyptian.
New Year's Resolution No. 8:
Spend a moment in tribute to all the losers that came before.
New Year's Resolution No. 9:
Watch a parking meter expire, and then throw a party to celebrate the event.
New Year's Resolution No. 10:
Shave Chewbacca.
New Year's Resolution No. 11:
Find the people I wanted to marry in Kindergarten,
and tell them I've changed my mind.
New Year's Resolution No. 12:
Always remember that power lines do not give you superhuman powers.
New Year's Resolution No. 13:
Strategically park so my car takes up 6 parking spots.
New Year's Resolution No. 14:
Have a picnic on the median strip of a highway.
New Year's Resolution No. 15:
Name the other guy from Wham!.
(We had a contest for this one... congratulations Aimee!)
New Year's Resolution No. 16:
Hug an engineer every day, using an elaborate rope and pulley system.
New Year's Resolution No. 17:
Work pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis into a conversation.
New Year's Resolution No. 18:
When meeting famous people (particularly English rockers)
make sure to say "hello" before you say "goodbye."
New Year's Resolution No. 19:
Get knocked down, and get up again,
explaining the futility of trying to keep me down to those around me.
New Year's Resolution No. 20:
Start calling my boss "Skippy".
New Year's Resolution No. 21:
Find that careful balance between tacky and tasteless.
New Year's Resolution No. 22:
Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.
New Year's Resolution No. 23:
Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.
New Year's Resolution No. 24:
I will stop sending e-mail and Instant Messages
while simultaneously on the phone with that person.
And finally....
New Year's Resolution No. 25:
Live a good 7 to 12 feet from the edge.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Good riddance 2003!